The struggle continues...

I want to record that on November 9th, 2009, I took my first step on the road to taking charge of my health.  I began reading Dr. Esselstyn's "Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease" and it filled me with hope that with a new style of eating and living, I can at least attempt to avoid ill health as much as possible, especially strokes and heart attacks, which may not lead to death, but often lead to dependency.  In the past 17 days I have been reading and researching books and online information concerning what is, in effect, a low fat vegan diet.  In the process I have given up coffee, soda,  meat (except for Thanksgiving turkey) and a host of other foods.  It would be simpler to say what I am allowed to eat now, which is fruits (two or three a day), vegetables (including starchy ones like potatoes), whole grains (brown rice and steel-cut oats, parimarily).  I feel very good.  I won't be able to record the weight that I started at, since I refuse to weigh myself.  I have found that in the past to be a recipe for failure.  If you diet merely to lose weight and you don't lose weight, you begin to feel that there is no point to the deprivation that you are enduring.  However, if you diet for health, to feel better, to improve your odds in the great gamble of life, then you are far more likely to stick with it, especially if you begin immediately to feel better and lighter and happier, which is what has happened to me so far.  Even more to the point, the "cheating" I did on Thanksgiving and the giant oatmeal cookies I succumbed to at Earth Fare made my gut hurt and was convincing proof that no matter how good things might taste, it's not worth the price.  I'm blogging about this mainly for my own benefit, to try to keep myself honest as I explore this new path.  I hope to inspire others to look into the health benefits of the low-fat vegan diet, but I'm not kidding myself that it's easy, because I've had a few struggles with it myself and I am just about as motivated as I could be, short of having actually had a heart attack!  I wish I'd read this information years ago when it first came out.  Think how much further ahead I would be at this point and how much needless worry I would have avoided.  Ya live, ya learn.  

Gilead Nights, by my beloved brother

Settling deep in an old porch swing

like a bag of dry granular earth.

I feel the cool of the sunless sky.

Aches dissolve in an evening view!

 

Stars twinkle from their lofty perch

with soft enchantment to calm the day.

Now katydids project their chirping songs

which chide the invading worries of day.

 

Look! A shooting star streaks the sky,

A whippoorwill calls out with a mating song.

The splash of a fish bounding for freedom

join songs of nature to heal my thoughts!

 

Evening darkens with the croaking of frogs,

fireflies dart across the panorama of night.

I feel now more human than a bag of dirt.

The panorama of Gilead has given me rest!

 

 

David A. Britt - April 10, 2009

Gilead, a poem by my brother

A call from the pristine waters of Gilead

Haunt my memories of this quiet repose!

A gull’s bill creases the mirror topped lake;

Silver minnows swim gently below.

The only sounds were the soft songs of Nature.

 

A push or two on the paddleboat’s drive

Brings yet another of nature’s delights!

Tall trees cast wiggling shadows across

Waters presenting an inverted coalesce.   

We feel to say nothing but inhale the view!

We sat in the dock’s veranda and talked

Of our loving God and our lives so far.

There were no intrusions to this restful repose

Only our memories and the moment we shared!

The only sounds were the soft songs of Nature.

Too soon my retreat at Gilead was over.

It was back to a world of noise and hustle.

All struggles of the busy world reappeared

Until memories bring again Gilead’s repose,

I hear again her sweet songs of Nature!

David A. Britt - April 4, 2009

I feel that I am in my own "Enchanted April"

Why Me?

Why me, Lord, what have I ever done

To deserve even one

Of the pleasures I've known?

Tell me, Lord, what did I ever do

That was worth loving you

Or the kindness you've shown

Lord help me, Jesus, I've wasted it so

Help me, Jesus I know what I am

Now that I know that I've needed you so

Help me, Jesus, my soul's in your hand

Tell me, Lord, if you think there's a way

I can try to repay

All I've taken from you

Maybe, Lord, I can show someone else

What I've been through myself

On my way back to you

Lord help me, Jesus, I've wasted it so

Help me, Jesus, I know what I am

Now that I know that I've needed you so

Help me, Jesus, my soul's in your hand."

Lyrics by Kris Kristofferson

These lyrics beautifully express how I'm feeling right now, looking out at the drizzling rain in a snug house, plenty (too much) to eat, healthy, blessed... when I read the news about how hard these times are for so many people, I can't help but feel a little guilty for the good life that I am living.  I hope that I am properly grateful, but I doubt it.  I don't know how I could be unless I find ways to pay back just a small amount of the grace that has been given to me.   Love and prayers to you all.

Hwangyong Hamnida

I have just met two very sweet young Korean men who might be coming to stay with me for a while.  So shy, but very nice.  I am hoping this works out as I continue my multicultural existence.  Maybe I'll learn to cook Korean dishes?

One God, by Hugh X. Lewis

Millions of stars placed in the skies by one God

Millions of men lift up their eyes to one God
So many children calling to him by many a different name
One Father loving each the same

 

Many the ways all of us pray to one God
Many the paths winding their way to one God
Walk with me brother, there were no strangers after his work was done
For your God and my God are One.   Amen!

When I was a little girl, I used to swing in the rope swing tied to the big oak tree in the back yard, and this was one of my favorite songs.

As my friend Michael would say:  Namasté!

I was just thinking about love, specifically romantic love.  An acquaintance of mine is newly in love and she speaks voluminously about her beloved's every wonderful quality.  Even his defects are seen as charming, nothing at all to be concerned with.   So I think that's how the bonding process starts, the superglue of relationships begins with a willful belief in the wonderfulness of the loved one.  Once strongly bonded together as a couple, hopefully the inevitable disillusions will seem paltry compared to the essential strength of love and gratitude we feel for being in such a partnership.

All that being acknowledged, I was musing about what it is that goes wrong, that lets us drift apart and become bitter.  I think a lot of what we believe about our lovers in the beginning is merely a projection of our wants and needs, so we lovingly twist and pat and force into place all the hoped-for ingredients in our Pygmalion quest for perfection.  I suppose if our lovers prove to be close enough to the template, then this projected image holds.  But all too often, a word, a habit, a behavior that we find unacceptable begins to inform us that our hologram is malfunctioning, that the reality is far from the creature we had hoped to fashion.  

There begins the anger and resentment.  How dare they to have failed us?  How dare they not be who we wanted and needed?  But just now I find myself wondering, how is it that we cannot acknowledge that it is not our lovers who fail us.  What fails us is our projection, our stubborn demand for perfection, our selfishness in failing to appreciate the person before us for the qualities that they have.

I strongly believe that if God chose to put that person in my life, they are there for me to love and learn from, whether they be a lover or a friend, and to the extent that I wilfully deny their true essence as a human being, I shortchange both them and myself.  

Spring has arrived in Elgin...

Do we ever really believe that spring will come again after the barren grays of winter?  But there it is at last, the beautiful fragrant flowers of spring that uplift our souls and remind us of the Resurrection!   Even though the cherry tree seemed dead throughout the long, dark days of winter, yet we had faith that it would come back to life in that miracle of renewal that comes with every spring to thrill our souls anew.